Am I a ??? * * *?

Im 18, ive slept with 4 guys in my life, im so ashamed of myself. My mum died when I was 14. I went a bit crazy but nobody knows to the extent of which I had. When I was 15 my dad remarried and my stepbrother d me when I was 16. A week later I had with this gut called, lets say andy , I continued to have with him for over a year on and off, then his friend john ( there both in my group of friends), I was seeing him for 8 months but would not go out with him, kept goin back to andy,... I got very drunk one night and ped out, john had with me and it was found out, the thing is we all hang around in the same group. In fairness these two guys do for some reason respect me so much . My dad hits me and stuff and this guy called fintan, I asked him over one night we went crazy and were drunk for 2 days together and I had with him, he fell in love with me but I also would not go out him, but we were basically, I was with him for 5 months and it kind of broke off. This happened over the coarse of 3 years, I feel like a . i thought everyone else thought that too but I talked to my friend sean who is brutally honest, and he swore to me nobody thinks im slutty at all ( I dont dress nor do I act slutty) , but I feel like a total one, since I broke up with fintan I just feel like a slut, this was 5 months ago and I dont do silly things anmore, how do I forgive myself ? And do you think im a slut, my best friend reckons I got away with it because im attractive and act somewhat respectible? Do you think im a slut?